Cat Scan

Today, I started out drinking this Vanilla Milk shake of Barium. These are the things that I dont enjoy so much. I followed the directions and was able to consume the first container within the two hour window of the procedure and within minutes it expanded my abdomen. Feeling very bloated I continued with the protocal and started to not feel well. When I had a Cat Scan before the medical staff did not have me do Barium so this was my first experience of this routine. I was looking forward to getting this procedure done since it had been 2 months since I had the last one. Dr. Sam from Wellspring Clinic had the morning planned with all my other scans to compare. We wanted to see if there had been any obvious changes and of course after two weeks of treatment at the clinic I have been feeling so much better and confident that we will see change. So we are sitting and waiting for this test to get done and I am feeling more ill by the minute. A Cold sweat came over me and very nauseated tummy but able to keep it to my throat. I know yuck right. Then we get informed the Tech person was in a car accident and we won't be able to get this done today. Okay...I literally was sick to my stomach for more reasons then one. "So we have to reschedule your appointment for monday," the gal kindly says and apologises."We can give you a gas card if that will help you"...Uh , Heck with a gas card, I was upset and a bit selfish for the moment thinking I can't drink this stuff again. Then I was concerned for the well-being of this young man and wondered if he is ok. I prayed for him under my breath and accepted the fact that I will be back there on Monday. As I said goodbye to my Dr. and drove away within minutes from the clinic,  I flew the car door open in a very nice residential area , near a school and projectiled the vanilla shake of Barium 3 times. I was able to text my daughter as I felt I was going to pass out, Uh gross right. This I was trying to avoid and could know longer. I was able to get to the clinic which was fortunatly close by and continued getting sick, The staff saw immediately something was wrong as I layed on their bathroom floor very ill. My head was pounding. So that was my day...horrible. They were able to get fluids back in to me with an IV and a shot.
When these kind of things happen you think, ok lord what was my lesson today?  Patience, endurance,perseverance....I  cried on my way home from the clinic, crying out to God, why lord? All these experiences do bring greater compassion to others for I know I am not the only one who is experienceing these things. It just isn't fun! My strength today became my weakness amongst it all. I know the sun will shine tomorrow in this desert so I will press on believing still that God has a plan in all of this, I just need to keep praying and believing. I was grateful my daughter and grandchildren were at the hotal to greet me and change my focus of pity, Even in the toss and turn of the battle of cancer I will keep my focus on Him. (Psalm 62:5) My hope comes from Him)
Although I may be suffering through these test of Life as I call them, I am learning blessings of compassion and patience.